Blame yourself.

So yesterday I took an 8 hour CLE (for those of you that don't know that stands for Continuing Legal Education-it's required to maintain your license).  It was the craziest class that I've ever taken and was definitely an eye opener and I have to say I kind of felt personally attacked. 

First, I'd like to point out that myself and my friend were probably the youngest people in the room...now on to the story.

An interesting topic was brought up which started a massive discussion on the direction our society as a whole is taking:  (1)  How adult children (by adult children the general consensus seemed to be ages 20s and 30s) are moving back in with their parents; (2) how adult children expect to live the same lifestyle on their own that they maintained while living with their parents as a child; (3) how adult children are lazy and just want a hand out and either have their parents or the government take care of them; (4) how no one knows how to work anymore and (5) no one is embarrassed anymore to live with their parents at age 40.  I have to tell you this list goes on... it was really interesting to see this unfold and to listen to how angry these people were.

And here is my response.  BLAME YOURSELF

Here's my story...

I am 33 years old.  I have lived outside of my parents house since 2002 when I started law school.  They financially helped me while in school and shortly after because I didn't work while in school.  So I had no money to get on my feet.  In 2005 I graduated and moved to Philly.  I worked and lived on my own.  Paid all my own bills.  Tried to save when I could.  Then in 2006, I took a $30,000/yr paycut to do a clerkship for a year.  So I had to defer my loans because I couldn't pay them anymore but I kept telling myself it was worth it for the experience of clerking because I'd learn so much and it would help me down the road.  In 2007 my clerkship ended and I was looking to move back to Philly.  I was looking for regular law jobs.  I thought, I was a law clerk surely someone will recognize that I'd be an asset from that experience.  But alas, no one did.  So I went back to my old job...and every 6 months I got a raise and we got time and a half for OT.  I was pretty well off.  Had an apartment in the city, was able to pay off my credit cards, and had no problem paying my loans and even saving!  It was great!

Enter market crash and failure...In July of 2011 I lost my job, couldn't afford to keep my apartment in the city, had to start using my credit cards again, didn't have any deferment time on my private loans because I had to use it for my clerkship, had to start using my savings because unemployment only gets you so far...

So I had to make some choices.  I decided I was giving up my apartment and was going to put all of my things in storage and move back home to my parents house so I could look for a new job and try and save money.  I offered to pay them rent (wouldn't have been much because of my loans but something).  Believe me when I say making the decision to move back in with your parents is not an easy one, but in the face of a complete financial collapse, it was a choice I needed to make.  I'm sure it wasn't one that my parents were thrilled about either but they were willing to do whatever they could to help me because the last thing they wanted was to sit back and watch me fail.

Luckily for me I was able to find a temporary job in Pittsburgh so I ended up not having to move in with my parents but instead moved in with a good friend of mine from college.  She had extra space and invited me to stay and a year later I'm still here.  And I can't thank her enough because in my current situation I could never afford to have an apartment and still pay my other bills and I would be forced to make the choice to move back home again. 

Here's the problem...a year later I'm still on and off unemployment.  Currently on and it sucks.  I was just on indeed.com today and realized that I already have applied for every job on the first 5 pages of my search. 

You know we were all told when we were kids that if we get a college education we can do anything.  Then we all go to college and it becomes now you have to get an advanced degree and you'll be set.  So now here we are...at least for me I'm sitting on a BA and a JD and can't get work.  I'm overqualified, I'm underqualified...I'm a living catch 22.  I'm sitting on $150,000 of student loans and I can't get any relief because I'm not working. 

So maybe before people start assuming that we "adult children" are just lazy and entitled and that's why so many are moving back home...they should take a second to think of why?

Could it be that we have so many student loans we can't afford an apartment or a house?  Could it be that we had get an education shoved down out throats for the first 18 years of our lives and now that we have them we have no where to go?  Could it be that no one actually looks at our resumes but that if we don't have a particular word in them we are kicked out of the application system immediately after we've submitted them so getting a job is even more difficult.

We are all products of our environment.  But who created our environment when we were children?  Our parents.  So if your kids are lazy and entitled and are looking to move home for you to take care of them, why don't you put yourself under the microscope to figure out why? They didn't get this way on their own.   

Yesterday was so interesting to me but at the same time I felt personally attacked.  It was really difficult to sit there and listen to these people pass judgment on me and they didn't even know they were doing it.  I'm in that situation and I've worked hard and have my education.

(1)I'm not lazy- I have my moments but when it comes to work I'm more than willing to go the extra mile. 
(2) I'm not entitled-I have no problem making sacrifices when I need to.  It's part of life. 
(3) I'm not asking for a hand out from my parents or the government.  I'm just trying to survive
(4) I'm hugely embarassed that at this point in my life I struggle to take care of myself.  I hate it.  I feel like crying most of the time but I try to put on a smile because crying about it isn't going to change my situation.
 
So here's what I want to know:

Do any of the people judging me realize how difficult it is to swallow your pride and have to make these sacrificing choices? Does anyone understand how worthless it makes you feel that you can't afford to take care of yourself? How worthless it makes you that you have twenty years of education and two degrees but they aren't worth the paper they are printed on?

Maybe take a walk in my shoes for a few months before you pass judgment on why they are old and uncomfortable...

-I'mJessSayin'
  

creative lemonade...

Okay, so I think life has handed me some dried up old lemons so I'm going to have to find a creative way to make some lemonade...

any ideas?

-I'mJessSayin'

Still unemployed.

Sorry for the lapse in writings...

I don't really have much to talk about as it's been 6 weeks and I'm still unemployed.  I am super bored and super broke and just all around a negative nancy right now.  I've been steering clear of the blog lately as I don't regularly engage with people anymore because I pretty much never leave the house.  The only thing I really have to talk about would be my television schedule and I must admit TV really does rot the brain...

I always thought I'd be awesome at being a recluse and never leaving the house but I have to say it's not what I imagined.  I guess I'm more philanthropic than I thought.

I'll try to do better with the next one...

-I'mJessSayin'   

   

Cal who?

So this weekend marks Cal U of PA's Homecoming.  I'm so pumped!!!  My best gals from Cal are all coming back and we are reuniting for a weekend of college fun...we might be a little bit older but not necessarily all of us are wiser  ;)  LOOK OUT!

-I'mJessSayin'

It's anti-histamine not hysterectomy

So yesterday late afternoon/early evening was quite an interesting time for me...

My allergies were bothering me yesterday so around 2:30ish I decided to take an anti-histamine.  So I went about my biz;  got a shower, made some pumpkin cupcakes (delish by the way), and was looking for a job.

While my cupcakes were cooling I'm sitting at the table working on my computer when it hit me like a ton of bricks!  I was so tired!  I had to put my head down immediately.  I think I dozed off for a few minutes (or so) because when I looked at the clock it was 5:30!  I had to change to leave for my training session at the gym. 

I was so out of it I just wanted to go to sleep.  I was talking to my roommate before I left for the gym and I was like, "I feel so out of it.  I took a hysterectomy and it's making me sleepy."  Her response?  "what did I miss while I took a nap?" 

So then I leave for the gym and had to drive with the windows down to stay awake...the gym is 5 minutes away.

I get to the gym and I'm talking to my training buddy Lisa and she's like "are you okay?" and I'm all "I took a hysterectomy and I'm so tired and out of it.  I feel like I'm slurring my words."

Both Lisa and our trainer were laughing at me because I was so out of it and I kept giggling at everything.  Not to mention that I kept saying hysterectomy instead of anti-histamine...

So moral of the story: beware of the anti-histamine/hysterectomy  

-I'mJessSayin'     

Fall is awesome

I'm talking Fall as in the season not falling down/over...although that can be pretty awesome too depending on who ends up on the ground...

Dear Fall,

You are totally awesome and here's my top 4 reasons why...

1)  Your weather is chilly but not yet cold, perfect for jeans and sweaters!
2)  Pennsylvania is is probably at it's prettiest this time of year and it's the best time to drive 80 crossing it- if you haven't done it get in your car and go, all of the leaves are changing and it is picturesque (sp?)
3)  Time for football!
4)  All my shows are back from their summer hiatus and new ones premiere! 

Thanks again Fall,  you bring it every year!

I'mJessSayin'

You know you live in the country when a possum just walks into your house...

Late Night Blogging...

I'm listening right now to an infomercial on TimeLife Ultimate Rock Ballads...I'm not going to lie, it's pretty freakin' awesome.

I'mJessSayin'

Yeah my mind is totally blown...I can text blog?!?!? This just got real...